


The Ocean Is Calling

by MelodramaticSalad



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Joyce Byers, Beach House, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Good Relationship, Billy Hargrove Being an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Person, Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway friendship, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Brotherly Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Closeted Billy Hargrove, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Gay Billy Hargrove, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, M/M, Minor Heather Holloway/Robin Buckley, Murray Bauman has no time for Billy and Steve's shit, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Physical Abuse, Protective Steve Harrington, Recreational Drug Use, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Supportive Joyce Byers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24088315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticSalad/pseuds/MelodramaticSalad
Summary: Billy Hargrove was Hollywood's current golden boy with his charming personality and golden looks. When his manager, Joyce Byers, finally gets him to audition for one of the biggest roles of Billy's life, Billy's life is turned upside down when he realizes that his romantic interest in the film is being played by his rival, Steve Harrington. Billy resents Steve for having the 'perfect life,' but he doesn't really know anything about Steve. When they continue to butt heads, Director Murray Bauman takes desperate measures to force them to get along with each other, or else. Can Billy get past his initial view of Steve and get along with him?
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	1. Billy's Terrible Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my very first Harringrove fic, and I'm extremely excited to write this! This was originally going to be a one shot, but it got a mind of its own and I decided after reaching a good point that I should make this a chaptered fic. I don't think there will be too many chapters, but we'll see how it goes! I hope you like it! Tags will be updated as the fic continues, E rating given for eventual smut!

Hollywood was a world brightened by flashing lights and magic. Adrenaline fueled the city from the energy of fans screaming the names of the idols that adorned their posters and phone wallpapers. Everyone vied for a taste of the rich and famous lifestyle that ruled that world. Whether they were a fan or not, consumers would eat up every article written about the big celebrities. The city drew in thousands of the dreamers hoping to make it big, like moths to a flame.

Billy Hargrove held the title of Hollywood’s current golden boy. His sun-kissed skin accentuated the gunmetal blue of his eyes and the tousle of his always perfect hair that flowed around his face in golden curls. Billy held that perfect California beach boy aesthetic that drew the attention of people of all age ranges.

Since blonde, blue-eyed boys were a dime a dozen in Hollywood, Billy had a few tools at his disposal to keep him above the rest. With his charisma and his acting range, he worked hard to stay in the spotlight. While Billy was most comfortable at playing the sexy bad boy, he knew how to draw people in with a deep vulnerability that tugged at the heartstrings.

His manager, Joyce Byers, wouldn’t stop bothering him about a new role that she wanted him to audition for. Joyce was a small, but fierce woman. The fact that she didn’t take shit from anyone was what drew Billy to her in the first place. Unfortunately, there were times that her tenacity was the bane of his existence. His first problem started one of those times.

For weeks, Billy would make up excuses for why he didn’t read the script she’d sent him. First, he’d say he was too busy to read it between his gigs. After that, the excuse was that he didn’t receive it when she sent it, maybe she sent it to the wrong person. When he was sure that Joyce was ready to strangle him, she sat him down in her office and made him read the script front to back.

Once Billy turned the final page, he let out a soft sigh before casting his gaze toward Joyce. “Okay.” He relented as he set the script back on the table.

“Okay? Good,” beamed Joyce, her relief and enthusiasm visible in her happy expression. “I’ll call Murray right away and let him know.” Her smile faded and her face filled with worry. “Are you comfortable with this though? I think this movie is the perfect role for you, but I know there is a risk. Is that something you’re okay with?”

Billy drummed his fingers against the table as he stared at the main page of the script. “I think I _need_ to do this. Besides, it’s not like Neil watches my stuff anyways.”

When the time finally came, Billy passed his audition with flying colors. In fact, he was so successful that he was offered one of the lead roles on the spot. That’s where his second problem began.

Once casting was completed, the director of the film contacted Joyce, requesting for her and Billy to come to his house for a meeting. Murray Bauman had created a well regarded name for himself in the industry from the eccentric methods he used when directing. Others in the industry had always warned Billy to prepare himself for anything if he ever worked with him. 

Joyce, on the other hand, kept tight-lipped about who Billy would be working alongside, which made him suspicious from the get go.

“It’s a surprise, don’t worry about it.” She would tell him every time he tried to ask her about it. 

Billy had never been a fan of surprises.

Later that afternoon, Billy stood with Joyce at Murray’s front door with one hand in the pocket of his tight jeans, the other scrolling through Instagram on his phone. Aimlessly tapped the heart reaction on one of his best friends, Heather Holloway’s pictures from her most recent photoshoot. He pursed his lips at the mental reminder that they were supposed to hang out later that week and reminded himself to text her about where exactly she wanted to meet up. There was that club she’d been wanting to go to that he couldn’t remember the name of. What was it again? 

“Billy?”

Snapped out of his little world, Billy realized Joyce had been talking to him the whole time. “Yes?”

“Did you hear what I said?” The blank expression on his face made her sigh and roll her eyes. “I swear, Billy, you’re just as bad as my boys.”

With a playful raise of his eyebrows, Billy smiled at her words. “Joyce, I am one of your boys.” He pointed out.

The statement was the honest truth. Whenever the holidays rolled around, Joyce always invited Billy to spend it with her and her family. When she had first discovered Billy spent his holidays on his own, Joyce refused to let that happen any longer. It had become a tradition for Billy to spend his Thanksgivings and Christmases with them over the last few years, to the point that it felt strange when he didn’t. 

Joyce gave him a warm smile, huffing out a soft laugh. “Yeah, you are.” She paused and frowned before continuing, “Don’t distract me. As I was saying, I want you to be on your best behavior and play nice.”

“I always play nice.” replied Billy as he looked at his phone screen again.

“Really? You told that one director years ago that he could, what did you say? That he could ‘eat an entire bag of dicks’ when he told you that you needed to cut your hair? That’s playing nice?”

An amused smile appeared on Billy’s features and he shrugged. “I’m not cutting my hair. I’m glad that everyone I’ve worked with since has learned that’s my one rule.”

“You’re lucky that didn’t ruin your career.” pointed out Joyce.

“I wasn’t worried, I have a pretty damn good manager.” Billy complimented her in return.

Joyce sighed, clearly doing her best to not enjoy his sweet talk. “Like I said, behave yourself. Play nice, Billy.”

“Should I be worried? You almost never tell me to play nice this many times.” His smile faded to a frown. “You got here before me, so you can’t tell me that nothing is going on. You’re the one that got the call too, Joyce. What’s up?”

Before she could answer, the door opened. Alexei Ivanov, Murray’s assistant, motioned for them to come inside. “You’re on time. Murray will like that. He can’t stand when people are late.”

“I definitely wouldn’t want to piss him off on the first day.” Billy replied, following Alexei into the large house with Joyce at his side.

“Second day would be better.” Alexei joked as he smiled back at them before he looked forward again. “Thankfully, the other actor is here, so we can get started right away.”

As they reached the doors leading to the patio outside, Billy stopped in his tracks at the open glass doors when he saw who was sitting at the table.

Steve Harrington was another up and coming actor that dabbled in modeling, and his doe-eyed boy next door appearance helped him in gaining popularity. While Billy’s charm came from the sex appeal that he put off, Steve’s charm stemmed from the fact that he was sweet and a little goofy. The combination came off as endearing to his fans. As the son of Eileen Harrington, a famous actress, and Ted Harrington, the CEO of some fancy company, Steve grew up already rich and famous. Billy hated having him as his competition.

So when he saw Steve sitting at the table, sipping at a can of Coke while he scrolled on his phone, Billy felt like the universe was laughing at him.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This has to be a joke.” Billy groused in disbelief.

“I’m afraid not, Billy.” A booming voice declared behind him. Nearly jumping out of his skin, Billy looked back at Murray as the other man walked toward him and Joyce. “I was _very_ particular about my casting for my movie, and I don’t make mistakes. Now, if you’re done, we can get started.”

Billy pursed his lips and was ready to argue, but Joyce’s stern expression helped him keep his mouth shut and he instead went outside. 

Steve looked up from his phone and smiled, standing and offering his hand out to Billy. “Hey, I guess we’ll be working together?”

The feeling of Joyce’s glare practically boring holes into the back of his skull prevented Billy from starting anything. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked back at Murray. “There’s no way this is happening.”

Steve’s smile faltered but he cleared his throat and lowered his hand before sitting down again.

“As I just said, Billy, I knew exactly what I wanted when I chose the both of you to play in this movie.” Murray said, raising an eyebrow at him. “What’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem? You’re directing a movie about two guys falling in love, and you really think that Steve and I will be able to pull that off?”

“Are you doubting your own skills as an actor? I thought you wanted to take a risk and do something major. If you want to quit, you know the way out.” Murray watched Billy, giving him a sarcastic smile. “I wouldn’t want you to do something you can’t handle, I just thought you’d be up for the challenge.”

Billy clenched his jaw, taking a slow breath through his nose. “I’m up for the challenge.”

“Are you now? Because I’m only going to say this once, Billy. There is only room for one ego on my set, and that spot is reserved for me. So, you’re going to do your job, and you’re going to put every ounce of your skills into it. If you don’t think you can handle my terms, don’t waste our time. It’s as simple as that.”

Billy held Murray’s stare before he nodded and took his seat so they could get the damn chemistry read done and over with. Once Murray cleared them to go after what felt like forever, Billy was the first one on his feet. He still wasn’t happy with the idea of working with Steve, but he wasn’t going to quit the movie. He was too prideful to let that happen.

“You’re going to be at the party, right?” Joyce called after him.

“Yeah, I have to go pick up my sister and take her. See you in a bit.” Billy replied, waving as he walked away.

He made it to the local skatepark at the time that he’d promised Max he would be there, getting out of his Camaro and leaning against it while he looked around for that fire red hair. When he finally spotted her, he whistled and waved his hand once he had her attention.

Max grabbed her skateboard before she made her way over to him. “How’d the meeting go?” She asked, earning a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t ask.” Billy huffed as he got back in the car, waiting for her to get in before continuing. “I get to spend the next several months working with Steve Fucking Harrington.”

Max raised her eyebrows at him as she buckled herself in. “Why don’t you like Steve?” She asked, connecting her phone to his car, so she could turn her map on.

“He’s competition.” stated Billy, waiting for the directions to come up, so he could follow it and take her to her friend’s birthday party.

“You mean you decided he’s your competition.” Max pointed out. “Do you have a valid reason for not liking him?”

Billy huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. “I don’t fucking know, he’s soft. He’s got that fucking Bambi look that everyone is going apeshit over. Most of all, he’s never had to work for anything, he just coasts off his famous name.”

“How do you know that?” Max asked him.

“Why does it matter? Are you a fan of his or something?” Billy snorted, raising an eyebrow at her before looking at the road again.

Max shrugged. “I just think you’re being unfair to him. Maybe you guys could be friends or something.”

Billy laughed outright at that. “Sure, I bet we’re gonna be real swell friends, Max. Where did this optimism come from anyways?”

Max rolled her eyes. “I just want you to be happy.”

With a sigh, Billy reached over and ruffled her hair without taking his eyes off of the road. When Max groaned and slapped his hand away, he lowered it and laughed. “It’s not your job to worry about me, Max. I’m fine.”

Max sighed as she fixed her hair, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “This movie you’re doing. Are you sure about it?”

Billy tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His whole body was tense as he tried to think about what he could say in response. “Yeah.” He finally sighed out, loosening his posture.

Max left it at that and the rest of the ride to their destination was filled with Siri providing directions every so often, along with Billy’s music playing faintly beneath the voice over.

The directions led them to a place by the name of Star City. The large building prided itself on the entertainment that it housed, which drew the attention of both the local youth and some nostalgic adults. On one side, there was a giant skating rink and on the other was the arcade. Toward the front of the building, there was also a large eating area with a decent restaurant. Since it was Max’s friend Dustin’s birthday, his mom had rented out the whole building for him and his friends to have free reign in.

Max led the way inside while Billy carried the bag with Dustin’s gift inside. It was some Star Wars Lego set, the Millennium Falcon if Billy remembered correctly. He’d been the one that had to take Max to pick it up in the first place, but he hadn’t really paid much attention. When he saw the table that was covered with presents, he set it down there before looking at Max. “Text me when it’s all over?”

Max’s disappointment was written on her face. “You’re not staying?”

Billy shrugged. “The deal was dropping you off and picking you up, right?”

“I guess, but I was hoping you’d stick around. You promised you’d beat that horror game with me. The one with the 3D headset. I was looking forward to playing with you.”

Billy narrowed his eyes at her as she gave him a sad look, fully bent on guilting him into staying. “I swear to god I will leave you here. One hour, that’s as long as I’m staying. Got it?”

A bright grin spread across Max’s features. “Sounds good! I’ll let you know when we can play. Get yourself something to eat, okay? Don’t just stand around.”

_Manipulative little shit._ Billy glared at her back as she rushed off before he rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. He turned around to go outside and smoke, but stopped in his tracks when he saw the main door open and Steve enter the building. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He breathed, looking back at where Max had run off. No wonder the little traitor had wanted him to stay.

When he looked forward again, he ended up making eye contact with Steve. Steve raised his own eyebrows in response but didn’t say anything and instead walked past Billy, so he could avoid a confrontation.

Billy watched Steve set down his gift for Dustin and sighed before he turned away to go outside. After finding a shady spot away from the door, Billy sat down and got his phone back out while he smoked.

He took a slow drag of his cigarette as he typed a message to Heather before sending it. _‘When are we supposed to hang out again?’_ Tendrils of grey smoke drifted out of his mouth slowly as he exhaled it out.

The three little dots bounced up and down on the corner of his screen until her responses came through. _‘Come out with me tonight? Going to Vibe.’ ‘U know? That club I told you about?’ Please?’_ Her texts were followed by another one with a pleading puppy-eyed face and heart emojis.

Billy vaguely remembered her talking about it. _‘K. What time?’_

_‘10?’_

_‘Gotcha. See you then.’_ Billy texted her before putting his phone away. He glanced toward the entrance of the building, thinking about his conversation with Max in the car. Sighing out the final drag of his cigarette, he put it out and flicked the butt away before standing. He then put his phone in his back pocket before going back into the building so he could find Max and play that game with her.

Unlike his statement of only sticking around for an hour, Billy stayed with Max until she was ready to leave. The initial plan had been to have her home by six, but she and her friends were trying to pool their tickets together to get some big prize for Dustin and were just a little off. Since they were so close, Billy told her to go ahead and just get the damn thing.

The entire time he waited for them to finish up, Billy felt uncomfortable. He didn’t like being late. He’d distract himself with his phone, some of the appetizers that had been ordered for everyone to share, or he’d mess around on a game. Playing kept him busy and it made the discomfort fade to a whisper at the back of his mind. 

Max spoke excitedly the whole drive back to her house, telling Billy all about how she’d broken all of her high scores again on her favorite machines. Absentmindedly, Billy would nod on occasion as his eyes kept drifting to the clock on his touch screen. _6:59._ Each passing minute made the uncomfortable sensation dig deeper beneath his skin.

Billy drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove before finally taking the turn into the neighborhood. Staring at the house in the distance, he quickly realized that the familiar pristine truck was parked in the driveway. Max noticed Billy white-knuckling the steering wheel at the sight of it.

“It’s my fault we’re late.” She sighed, drumming her fingers against her skateboard resting against her leg. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

“No,” spoke Billy as he glanced over at her, “Max, you're allowed to have fun. It was a fucking birthday party. They can run long sometimes, he just always finds a reason to nitpick anything we do.”

He noticed her crestfallen expression and sighed. “It’ll be okay, Max.” He assured her as he parked in front of the house.

At the sight of Neil standing on the porch, arms crossed over his chest and a disapproving expression on his face, Billy got out of his car with Max. Fear coursed through his veins and in the stiffness of his posture, but his face remained a blank slate and his gaze was steady.

“You’re late. You were told to have her back at six.” Neil reminded Billy, a dangerous rage hidden in his gaze.

“That’s my fault. I wanted to help Dustin win something.” defended Max as she sling her bag over her shoulder. “We wanted to make sure he got this special prize that he’d been wanting.”

Neil looked at Max for a moment before his gaze returned to Billy. “Go ahead and go inside, Maxine.”

Max shot Billy a worried look but sighed as she went past Neil and into the house. Neil waited for the door to shut before he took the steps down the porch and followed the walkway until he was standing in front of Billy.

“If you can’t handle a simple task like that, then you’re more worthless than I thought you were.” Neil’s words might have been spoken in a soft tone, but they pricked at Billy’s skin like pins. “I’m going to skip over the fact that my son needs a little girl to protect him like some faggot. When I give you a time, I expect what I asked you to do to be done at that time, not whenever you feel like it. Do you think you can handle that?” He reached out to grab Billy’s shoulder. Billy winced in pain reflexively as Neil tightened his grip on him and dug his thumb into his shoulder.

Billy’s words almost caught in his throat as a medley of anger and fear gripped at him like a vice. Fear was an invisible hand on his throat, gripping almost as tightly as the hand on his shoulder. “Yes, Sir.”

Neil searched his expression before letting go stepping back. “If you remember, Susan’s birthday dinner is next Sunday. Susan would like you to be there. I expect you to show up on time. Don’t disappoint me this time.”

Billy watched Neil walk away, waiting for the front door to shut behind him before he finally got back into his car. The shaking of his hands made it hard to start the car for a few good seconds, but when he managed it, he left for home.

The drive back to his apartment went by in a big blur for Billy. Even after parking his car in the parking garage and making his way to the elevator, his hands were still shaking.

To wash the feeling away once he was finally in the safety of his penthouse apartment, he went straight to his bedroom and into the bathroom. He let the shower heat up while he undressed, giving himself a few moments to take calming breaths. Steadying himself by gripping the marble countertop of his vanity, he slowly got the shaking to stop. Despite that, fear still coiled in his chest.

Billy tried to ease it by reminding himself that here he was safe. Here in his apartment, Neil couldn’t get to him. Within these walls, Billy got to be in control. With a sigh, he let go of the vanity and stepped into his shower. The hot water reddened his skin when it came into contact with him but Billy welcomed it.

By the time that ten rolled around, Billy had managed to calm himself down as much as he possibly could. Despite his best attempts, he was still wound up a little too tightly, but the promise of alcohol was way too appealing to pass up. Besides, he knew it would probably help if he spent time with Heather. He’d met Heather during a photo shoot a few years back, and the two of them became fast friends. Heather was one of the few people that Billy actually trusted talking about his personal stuff to. She never judged him and they were always free to be open with each other.

He’d brought up the directions to Vibe after he finally got dressed and drove to the new night club. Other than it being the new hot spot, Billy didn't know anything about it. Heather had texted him in advance to let him know that she’d already reserved them a private space and he could just go straight to it after he parked in the back. After parking, Billy walked up to the bouncers at the door, getting the go ahead signal before continuing through the VIP entrance without any problems.

Through a branch in the hallway leading to the main part of the club, Billy got a good look at the floor before stopping in his tracks. He hadn’t realized that Vibe was the hot new LGBT club in town. His breath caught in his throat as he moved faster, wanting to get to Heather.

She stood to greet him with a smile when she first saw him, but it quickly faded into a concerned expression when she realized what state he was in. “Billy, what’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” asked Heather, her eyebrows furrowed.

“I-I can’t be here, Heather. I can’t.” Billy paced around the table, rubbing his hands together in a combination of panic and agitation. “They don’t know about me, Heather. If someone sees me and it gets out, _he’ll_ find out.”

Heather stepped forward and took Billy’s hands in hers. “Hey, hey. No one will find out about you, Billy. You’re here with me. Everyone knows you’re my best friend, no one is going to think anything of it. He’s not going to find out. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She promised him, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. “You’re safe here. I promise. Deep breaths, okay? Here, with me, you’re safe.”

As she began to take big breaths, Billy slowly followed her breathing. He was still anxious, but he allowed himself to sit and grab the drink that Heather had ordered for him.

“Fuck it, I’ve had a shit fucking day anyways.” mumbled Billy as he put it to his lips and upended it. His fight or flight instincts were still heavily teetering toward flight, but the distraction of the drink helped a little. “So, what were you coming here again for anyways?”

Heather raised her eyebrows for a moment. “Right, uh, yeah. That girl I’m interested in wanted to meet up tonight. I figure if it was like a hangout, it’d be more comfortable for her.”

A frown appeared on Billy’s face as he tried to remember the name of that girl. “Right, it’s uh, Robin or something, right?”

“Yeah, that’s her.” The smile on Heather’s face was genuinely giddy. Just from the sight of it, Billy realized how much she liked this girl. “If you need me to take you home though, just use the safe word, okay? I’ll get you out of here, and we’ll go back to my place.”

Snorting at her words, Billy rolled his eyes as he lit a cigarette. “Got it.”

Over the dull thumping of the music on the dance floor, Billy could hear voices talking and coming closer. He glanced up and instantly, his flight instinct shifted directly into ‘fight mode’ when he saw Steve fucking Harrington standing with the girl Heather had shown him a bunch of pictures of.

After everything that had happened that day, Billy snapped. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Enraged by the universe fucking him repeatedly that day, he got in Steve’s face. “Are you fucking following me or something?”

“Billy, knock it off!” Heather exclaimed as she stood, ready to get in between them or pull Billy back. “It’s okay, just calm down. He’s Robin’s friend!”

Steve’s eyes widened when Billy was suddenly in front of him, but the shock faded and his own anger finally came out. “It’s not my fault that we have the same circle of friends, Billy. You’ve been treating me like shit all fucking day and I’m really geting sick of it. What’s your problem with me anyways?”

Billy let out a mirthless laugh, poking at Steve’s chest as he began cutting into him with his words. “My problem with you? My fucking problem is that you’re one of those Hollywood royalty fucks that everyone only likes because you’ve got a famous name. You’ve never had to work for anything in your life because everything was handed to you on a silver fucking platter. I fucking hate people like you because all you have to do is coast on your name and the work just falls into your lap, doesn’t it? Have you ever struggled in your entire life?”

Steve got a heartbroken look on his face for a moment before he sighed and his expression went cold. He placed a hand on Billy’s chest before pushing him away to get him out of his face. “You don’t know a fucking thing about me, Hargrove.”

It probably wasn’t the best idea, but Billy shoved Steve hard in response. Thankfully, the nearby bouncer stepped in before it could escalate any further and escorted Billy outside.

Outside of the club, he let out shaky breaths into the cool night air as he opened and closed his fists after the bouncer let him go. He knew that what he’d done in there was stupid. After casting one last look back at the club, he got his car keys out of his pocket and left for home.

Once he was back in the safety of his apartment, he tossed his keys aside and went straight for his alcohol cabinet. He twisted open the lid on a half-emptied bottle of whiskey, bringing it straight to his lips before taking a drink. The anger and blind panic he’d felt was fading away. All that was left was the heavy feeling of guilt sitting in his empty stomach.

Thinking about the interaction he’d had with Steve at the club, he dragged his hand down his face before taking another swig. That devastated look on Steve’s face when Billy unloaded all of his emotions on him. The anger that he’d felt toward him didn’t even have anything to do with Steve himself. Was he jealous that Steve had grown up with a picture perfect life and he hadn’t?

With his back leaned back against the wall, Billy slid down the wall until he was seated on the cold, hardwood floor. Self-hatred twisted his insides and he felt the whiskey start come back up. Billy cursed, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut. Dull pain ached in his chest as his insecurities begged to rise to the surface like the bile in his throat. 

He could hear the sound of his father’s voice echoing in his head, telling him all the things that were wrong with him. Each insult stung harder than the previous one.

_‘You’re worthless.’_ He knew that.

_‘You’re a failure.’_ No matter how hard he tried, nothing was ever good enough.

_‘Even your mother abandoned you at the first chance she got.’_ Billy didn’t know why she never came back for him. He didn’t know what he had done so wrong that he deserved to be left behind with Neil.

Steve’s heartbroken expression appeared in his mind again and he slammed his fist against the floor, cursing loudly. He’d thought that by moving out of that house, he’d be able to escape the hold that Neil had over him. It felt like since Billy lived all alone now, Neil’s claws were digging deeper into him and choking him to fill the otherwise quiet space. Billy never wanted to be like him, and with how he acted toward Steve, he was terrified that he was still becoming like Neil anyways. With a broken laugh, Billy realized Neil would always be there to pour gasoline on the spark of fear inside his mind. He couldn’t even remember a time where he wasn’t afraid.

To drown the terrified thoughts out, he brought the bottle back to his lips and drank until he couldn’t feel a thing anymore. The last thing he remembered that night was stumbling his way over to the couch before finally passing out there.


	2. Riptide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all the nice comments! I'm really happy to see that people are enjoying this so far, especially since I'm really enjoying writing this! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Some time the following morning, Billy woke to the sound of his phone going off. A loud sigh left him as he reached out, slapping his hand on the coffee table until he found it. As it stopped ringing, he peeked an eye open so he could look at the notifications on his phone. Twenty missed calls and ten texts, most of them from Joyce. “Fuck.”

A loud sigh left Billy’s lips as he called her back. While the phone started to ring, he set it to speaker phone and rolled onto his back. While the monotonous ringing sound droned on, he started unblinking at the ceiling until it stopped.

“What did you do?” The accusatory tone in Joyce’s voice made Billy sigh and close his eyes.

“I fucked up.”

“That’s an understatement. Murray said he wants to see you at his place right away.”

Billy cursed under his breath, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead. Fuck, he was going to get fired today. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Do you need me to go with you or can you handle this yourself?”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I need to do, so I’ll handle it on my own. I’ll let you know when I’m done.” Billy grabbed his phone so he could sit up, sighing from the exertion. “I’m sorry, Joyce.”

“What happened last night? Do you need to talk about it?” The concern in her voice filled Billy with guilt. Disappointing Joyce or causing her to worry always made Billy feel like he was failing her.

Billy rubbed at his temple, closing his eyes before sighing. “No, not right now. I’ll be okay.”

When Billy was able to end the call, he picked up the empty bottle of whiskey that had been abandoned beside the couch. A tired sigh left Billy’s lips as he set it on the coffee table before heading toward his bedroom so he could change. Before he left for Murray’s, he took a couple Tylenol to help with his headache before tossing the bottle back into his cupboard. The clattering of the pills in the bottle echoed in Billy’s mind and he grimaced, placing his aviator sunglasses on his face before exiting his apartment.

Once he arrived at Murray’s place again, Alexei opened the door for him to let him in once again. “They’re on the back porch again.” Alexei said as a greeting, getting right to the point.

With an affirmative nod, Billy took a slow breath and headed in that direction. He was prepared to lose his job. 

When he stepped outside, both Steve and Murray were sitting at the table. Billy slowly shut the door behind him, gaining their attention.

A mirthless smile adorned Murray’s face as he looked up from the tablet in his hands.  
“I’m glad you could join us.” Before Billy could even open his mouth, Murray turned over his tablet so both Steve and Billy could see. On the screen, there was a nice candid picture of when Billy shoved Steve the previous night. “I asked you if you could handle this job yesterday, and you said you could. Were you lying to me?”

Billy stared at the picture, feeling tongue tied for a long moment. He looked up at Murray and shook his head.

“No? Well then are you trying to fuck me over? If you two fuck this film over, I swear to god, I will bury your bodies so far in Death Valley that no one will ever find you again. What do you have to say for yourself, Billy? Are you going to resign?”

Clenching his hands into tight fists, Billy looked over at Steve. Steve gave him a cautious expression but didn’t say anything. Fuck, why was this so hard? “I’m sorry.” Billy forced himself to speak. “I have some of my own shit going on, and I took it out on you and it wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve that.”

The surprise on Steve’s face proved that he was not expecting an apology at all. Murray looked between them and set his tablet on the table as he leaned forward. “So, what’s next?”

“I’m not quitting the movie, if I’m not fired.” The confidence in Billy’s voice faltered as he spoke. He took his eyes off of Steve and looked at Murray instead.

As he thought it over, Murray rubbed at his mouth. “No. You’re not fired, but the two of you are going to do something for me. I’ve got a beach house in Malibu.” Billy’s eyes widened in surprise and his breath caught in his chest. 

“Why Malibu?” His interjection earned a roll of Murray’s eyes.

“Because that’s where my beach house is. The two of you are going to stay there together, for as long as it takes until you both to start getting along. I don’t care what you guys do while you’re gone, but when you finally come back, I expect you guys to be the best of friends in the public eye. Any other complaints?” Murray looked over at Steve, but Steve shook his head. Before Billy could voice his opinion again, Murray continued. “Good. Both of you are excused then. Maybe you two can do something about that sexual tension while you’re at it. I’m not saying get rid of it entirely, but at least learn how to use it.”

“I’m sorry?” sputtered out Steve in surprise. “What do you mean by ‘sexual tension?’”

“Why am I always surrounded by stubborn, oblivious children?” Murray sighed, rubbing his temples. “Go on, get out of my sight. Alexei will give you the keys and the address on your way out. Have fun, Boys. I expect to hear from you both when it’s all over.”

Steve opened his mouth to press the subject, but seemed to think better of it and instead cast an awkward glance at Billy before rushing into the house. Once Steve was gone, Billy focused on Murray again. “Do you actually think this will work?”

Murray shrugged. “It’s worked before. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? Don’t disappoint me, okay? I have a lot of faith in you.”

Billy clenched his jaw, nodding before going after Steve without another word. He found Steve in the foyer, bouncing a set of keys in his hand. The keys to the beach house were pretty simple aside from the foam palm tree keychain attached to the keyring.

Steve looked over at Billy and pocketed the keys. “Are we meeting there or something?”

Billy crossed his arms over his chest in thought before shaking his head. “I can just pick you up.”

Steve mulled it over before nodding in approval. “Yeah, that could work. I live in Calabasas, so it’s just right along the way. I can give you my number?”

After getting his phone out, Billy opened up a new contact and waited for Steve to rattle off his phone number. Once he did, he typed it in and sent Steve a text. That way, Steve could have his number in return. “Okay, just text me your address when you’re packed and I’ll come get you.” He sighed as he put his phone away. “Just so you know, I meant what I said earlier. And it’s not because I was afraid of losing the job or anything. I know I can go too far sometimes, and I’m sorry.” Apologizing always felt so awkward to him. Showing another person genuine vulnerability wasn’t Billy’s strong suit, but he’d promised himself that he’d try to be better.

Steve searched Billy’s expression before giving him a warm smile that made even the earthy hues of his eyes seem to light up. The sight of it caught Billy off guard. “I get it. I forgive you, just don’t do that again?”

With a nod, Billy got his car keys out of his pocket. “I won’t.” He said, clearing his throat before nodding toward the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

Billy went right to his car and back to his apartment. Once he was back inside his penthouse, he made a bee line right for his bedroom so he could start packing his duffle bag. As he packed his clothes, he lost himself in his thoughts. He couldn’t believe he was going back to Malibu. Memories of the last time he was there entered his mind. Billy couldn’t believe it had been thirteen years.

Wet sand under his toes when he’d run across the shore, the salty taste of ocean air on his tongue as adrenaline coursed through him each time he rode a wave. A white dress with red and blue flowers embroidered into the fabric, a yellow sun hat with a blue ribbon. The bright smile that was just for him and lit up his world. To Billy, it was almost as if it was powered by the sun itself. The realization that the last time that he was on that beach was the last time that Billy truly knew what it felt like to be loved as a child. Billy took a shaky breath as he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth. He had sworn to himself many times that he would never go back there.

One thing he never wanted to do was to relive the memories of what it had been like before… Before he was left behind.

The memory made Billy’s chest ache in longing. Billy could remember what it was like to be happy, just as much as he could remember what had come after that. To this day, he could remember the cold feeling of what it had been like when he realized he was abandoned. It was a chill that still kept him cold to this day, as if that final day on the beach was the last time he’d experienced the warmth of the sun on his skin.

To force himself out of those thoughts, he took a slow breath and set his clothes down in his bag with a careless drop. He cast a glance at his end table before he went over to it and rummaged through it. Once he found the round silver tin that he was looking for, he put that in one of the pockets on the side of his bag. As he finished zipping up his bag, his phone beeped to notify him of a text.

After he pulled it out of his pocket, he tapped at the notification. It was a text from Steve.

 _’I’m ready to be picked up!’_ The initial text was followed by another one that gave Billy his address.

Billy thumbed back a response before putting his phone away. _‘On my way.’_

Before he left his apartment, Billy double checked that he had everything he’d need for the trip before nodding to himself.

Metallica and other hard rock filled the silence between his car’s navigation prompts along the way to Steve’s place. Billy would drum his fingers against the steering wheel along to the beat until he approached Steve’s neighborhood. With a raised eyebrow, he took in the sight of the house in front of him after he parked in the driveway. Of course Steve had a big house in Calabasas.

With a quick text, he let Steve know he’d arrived before setting his phone back down in one of the cup holders. While he waited, Billy thought of just where his life was at in that very moment and sighed. He couldn’t believe he was going back to his favorite childhood spot with Steve Harrington. It wasn’t that he was against Steve, he really was trying to not be such a dick, it was that the idea of going somewhere that made him extremely vulnerable with a complete stranger made him uncomfortable in every sense of the word.

What if Steve got a deep glimpse into the life he’d tried so hard to keep private and told everyone? Billy swallowed hard, shaking his head. Based on how everyone around him talked about Steve, he wasn’t like that, but Billy didn’t know for sure that he could trust him. Just the idea of letting him in to see that amount of vulnerability made Billy’s skin crawl.

“Hey, you okay?” 

Billy almost jumped out of his skin when he realized that Steve was at the passenger window, watching him with a concerned expression.

“What the fuck?” He hissed as he tried to get his heart to stop pounding.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you’d heard me. You good though?”

“I’m fine.” Billy replied, unlocking the car so Steve could get in. “You can toss your bag in the back.”

Steve opened the back door first and tossed his bag onto the seat before shutting the door so he could get in the front passenger’s seat. “Alright! I’m Malibu ready!”

“Yay.” The dryness in Billy’s voice didn’t match the excitement in Steve’s as he started the car back up.

Steve raised his eyebrows as he sat back in his seat. “Can I ask why you don’t like Malibu?”

“No.”

“Ooooookay…” Steve stared at him for a moment, pursing his lips. “Can I put some music on then? I made a playlist for the drive. I mean, I know that it’s only like twenty minutes away, but whatever.”

Billy eyed Steve warily before sighing. “Is it an ‘Annoy Billy For the Entire Drive’ kind of playlist?”

The unenthusiastic comment made Steve cackle outright. “Well, that’s not _exactly_ what I named it, but yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

With a roll of his eyes, Billy motioned to where the charging cord connected to the stereo. “Help yourself. I’m warning you now though, if the song bothers me, I’m changing it. If you get enough strikes, music privileges get revoked. Got it?”

“Well, do you like 80’s music?” Steve asked as he got his phone out of his jeans.

“Everyone likes some form of 80’s music.” pointed out Billy as he snorted.

“Well then, I don’t think we’ll have a problem then. It’s like almost entirely 80’s music and other classic hits.” A wide grin was on Steve’s face as he hit shuffle on the playlist. When the very first song to come out of the speakers was Madonna’s “Material Girl,” Billy gave him an ‘are you fucking serious’ expression.“Don’t look at me like that, it’s a classic!”

Billy shook his head and hit the ‘next’ button on his steering wheel. Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” began to play and Billy audibly groaned.

“Do you hate every classic song? Do you feel no joy in your life?” Steve asked incredulously.

“No, no, I like the classics.” defended Billy. “I’m just judging the fuck out of you. What’s fucking next? Wham?”

Steve stared at him for a moment before hitting next on his phone. When the beginning of “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” started to play, Billy instantly hit the next button on the steering wheel again. _”No.”_

Steve groaned loudly in response, raising his phone and manually scrolling through the playlist. When he found a song, he tapped it. “You're probably into this kind of thing?”

When the sounds of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister started to play, Billy grinned as he started following the route toward the highway. “Much better.”

“Oh, so you’re an 80’s Hair Metal kind of guy?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows at him.

Billy rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time. _”This_ song is a classic. It’s one of those songs that makes you feel powerful, like you can do anything. That’s what made it so good in the first place.” He pointed out as he nodded his head along to the music.

Steve watched Billy’s fingers as he drummed his hand against the steering wheel, smiling to himself. “I like that passion you’ve got.”

“Shut up.” Billy huffed without any malice in his voice. He reached for the volume dial and turned the music up. Getting lost in the music helped him drown out the anxiety whispering worst case scenarios at the back of his mind.

As the song ended, he lowered the volume again. His hand paused on the dial as “We Built This City” began to play. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I don’t care what anyone says, this song is great.” defended Steve with a shake of his head, “I mean, who gives a damn if the lyrics don’t make the most sense? It’s a fun song.”

Billy raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged as he turned the dial back up. When Billy didn’t make fun of the song or change it, Steve grinned. He sang along to the lyrics, his head bobbing wildly to the beat as he got into it.

As Billy glanced over at him every so often, he realized that this was actually… It was actually kind of fun. He even found himself tapping his thumb along to the beat despite his original protesting.

Even when the song ended, Steve was still grinning as he looked at his phone’s screen. He’d paused the next song before it could start playing through the speakers. “Okay, you know what I really feel like listening to?”

Billy glanced at his car’s touch screen and saw the song Steve was attempting to hide from him. “If you play Africa by Toto in my car, I will leave you on the side of the road.”

“Oh, come on!” Steve groaned. “That song is so much fun and you know it.”

“Try again, Pretty Boy.” snorted Billy as he rolled his eyes.

Steve seemed caught off guard by the name that slipped from Billy’s lips without thought but he nodded and changed the song. When The Outfield’s “Your Love” began to play, Billy listened to the lyrics as he mouthed along.

_“Josie's on a vacation far away,  
Come around and talk it over.  
So many things that I want to say,  
You know I like my girls a little bit older._

_I just want to use your love tonight  
I don't want to lose your love tonight_

_I ain't got many friends left to talk to,  
Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble.  
You know I'd do anything for you,  
Stay the night but keep it under cover.”_

Whiteknuckling at the steering wheel, the empty ache in Billy’s chest began to spread until he felt almost numb. The lyrics gutted him when he realized he related to it completely. 

Suddenly, this wasn’t fun anymore. 

He could feel all of his insecurities creeping up. Other than Heather, did he actually have _any_ real friends? People that actually cared about him outside of a photo shoot? Billy was popular and he knew how to get people interested, but he rarely saw any of them if there wasn’t a hot party going on. 

Romantic partners were the same story. Sure, he’d have one night stands or casually mess around with people, but more often than not he was gone by morning or he kicked them out of his bed when he was done with them.

Day in, day out, Billy had grown used to coming home to an empty apartment and spending his evenings on his own. With the walls he’d built up for years, he’d convinced himself it was for the best.

 _”’We accept the love we think we deserve.’”_ That sappy quote that Max had told him after watching some teen flick with her friends kept echoing in his mind.

With a steadying breath, he pressed his thumb against the next button and changed the song. When the beginning notes to The Beach Boys’ “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” began to play, Billy felt like he was drowning.

Panic felt like waves crashing hard against his body, pulling him deeper into the abyss and choking him with an invisible ocean that filled his lungs with fear. Some of his youngest memories were his mother singing the song to him. She sang it to him when he couldn’t sleep, when he was scared, or when she just wanted to cheer him up. She’d sing the song while she baked or when she did the laundry. Billy used to associate the song with the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, or the smell of fresh linens. Growing up, he used to associate it with the feeling of happiness that came from unconditional love. Now his brain tied the melody to the feeling of fear and abandonment.

Billy was thankful that they weren’t on the highway anymore and pulled the car over so he could park on the shoulder. Immediately, he hit the off button on the stereo before shutting off the car. He then put his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Billy?” Steve asked in a soft voice, clearly confused by what was going on.

Billy shook his head, trying to calm his breathing. “Drop it.”

“What’s going on?”

The expression on Billy’s face when he finally looked at Steve was almost feral. He looked like an animal that he had backed into a corner and wound up too tightly. One unpredictable move and he’d snap his jaws at the nearest limb. Despite the expression, Steve still reached out to Billy and rested a hand on his shoulder. He kept his movements slow, as if he was worried Billy would lash out at him further. Even so, he still did his best to comfort him. When Steve’s hand made contact with Billy’s skin, the way Billy flinched didn’t go unnoticed.

“You don’t have to talk about what’s going on, but if you ever want to, I’m here.” Steve spoke in a soft tone.

Billy’s expression softened as he tried to get his bearings again and try to calm the storm waging in his chest and his mind. When it started to subside and it felt like he could actually breathe again, his hand lifted to rest on top of Steve’s before he moved it off of his shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Billy’s voice came out barely above a whisper. 

He didn’t look at Steve as he started the car up again, glancing at his mirrors to make sure no one was coming before merging back on to the road. He could feel Steve watching him but ignored it, turning the stereo back on so he could hear the directions from the navigation. The rest of the drive to Murray’s beach house was quiet until Billy finally pulled into the driveway.

Steve got out first once the car was parked, getting the keys out of his pocket before getting his bag out of the back. “Do we need to go grocery shopping?”

“Uh, probably, yeah.” sighed Billy as he grabbed his stuff out of the trunk. “Drop your bag off and we’ll just go.”

He followed behind Steve along the walkway leading up to the front door. Steve unlocked the front door before making his way inside. 

“You can pick your room first if you want.” offered Steve as he looked back at Billy.

Billy raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged before he went ahead toward the hallway, opening the first bedroom door that he’d spotted before he went ahead and tossed his bag inside. “Done.”

Steve let out a light laugh but nodded, going to the next bedroom and going inside to put his bag onto the bed. “Okay, we can go now.” He spoke up as he came back out of the room.

Billy nodded, getting his phone out and checking where the nearest grocery store was located. A lot could change in thirteen years. Once he located the nearest one, he mentally mapped the route in his mind before pocketing his phone.

“Do you have anything specific you want to eat?” Steve asked. “I don’t mind doing some of the cooking.”

Billy raised an eyebrow at him. “You know how to cook?”

Steve rolled his eyes as he turned his head toward him. “Of course I know how to cook, Billy. I basically raised myself, after all.” He pointed out.

His words caught Billy off guard. “What?”

Steve hesitated before shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go shopping.”

Billy eyed him suspiciously for a moment before he let it go as he followed him back outside. He had his own shit he didn’t want to ever talk about, so he wasn’t going to force Steve into talking about his baggage.

Silence filled the car on the drive to the grocery store. Neither of them could think of anything to say, so instead Steve played something on his phone while Billy focused on the road. The scent of ocean water permeated the air through the open windows, reminding Billy of the memories from long ago.

When they arrived at the grocery store, he parked in the nearest empty space. “Do you have anything specific you want?” He asked Steve, waiting until they were both out of the car before locking it with the key fob.

“I don’t really have anything in mind.” Steve shrugged. “I’ll just see what looks good and go from there.”

“I guess that works.” snorted Billy as he led the way inside. 

While Steve planned out what he wanted to cook, Billy followed behind him with the shopping cart. Every so often, he and Steve would spot some sort of junk food one of them wanted. Chips, ice cream, and assorted chocolates were tossed into the cart as they maneuvered through the aisles.

“Are you actually planning on cooking anything or are you just planning on snacking the entire time we’re here?” Billy asked in disbelief as Steve came back with a large bag of pizza rolls.

“Both.” Steve replied without any hesitation as he threw the bag into the cart, resembling a basketball player making his winning shot. “What do you want tonight? We could have pasta, steaks, chicken… We could also order in. Pizza sounds awesome.” He thought out loud as he neared the end of the aisle. “We can get all of our meat now, of course, and then I think we’re almost done.”

“I don’t care what we do.” Billy followed Steve to the meat department, resting his crossed arms on the bar of the shopping cart while Steve perused the steaks.

While he waited, he could hear the soft sound of a voice singing from another aisle. When he recognized the song and the voice, a cold chill ran through his veins.

_“Wouldn't it be nice if we were older  
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long?  
And wouldn't it be nice to live together  
In the kind of world where we belong?”_

The shopping cart was left abandoned as Billy rushed to follow the sound of the voice. He searched the aisles, seeing no one down the first few. When he finally caught up to the voice, he skidded to a stop and watched with wide eyes.

Flashes of warm smiles, fresh chocolate chip cookies, the feeling of wet sand under his feet ran through Billy’s mind. Several yards in front of him, his mother was pushing a shopping cart with a young boy beside her. The boy looked just like his mother, just like Billy. Realization was a slap across the face when Billy’s brain processed that he’d been replaced.

Despite opening and closing his mouth, he couldn’t find any words. Invisible water was filling his lungs and he was drowning again. Inside his mind, Billy was clawing toward the surface, desperately trying to reach for the sun and feel its warmth again.

His mother looked up from the boy beside her and she stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening in surprise. “Billy?”

“There you are, did you forget something?” Steve’s sudden presence almost had Billy’s already panicked heart jumping out of his chest.

When he looked over at him, visible terror was in Billy’s expression and Steve’s smile faded in an instant.

“Mom, who’s that?” The boy asked, confirming Billy’s fears.

Billy looked between his mother, the boy, and Steve. This wasn’t happening. Why the fuck did this have to happen today of all fucking days?

“Billy?” He looked at his mother, putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans to hide how hard his hands were shaking. As much as he tried to hide it, Steve still noticed.

“Hey.” Billy finally forced himself to speak.

His mother let go of the shopping cart and made her way toward him. Her slow pace was filled with caution, as if she was afraid of Neil jumping into view and coming for her if she got close enough. When she was in front of him, she gave him a sad smile. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

Billy felt as if he was being stabbed in the chest. A broken smile appeared on his features, his eyes filled with pain. Breathing was excruciating. “Wasn’t that how you wanted it though, Mom?”

Her expression saddened at his words. “That’s not…” She took a slow breath and sighed it out before shaking her head. “Could we possibly talk? Not here, but somewhere we can sit and talk about everything?”

“What would we have to talk about? I’m not upset about you getting away from a shitty situation, Neil made your life miserable. Even so, you left me with _him,_ knowing exactly what he would do to me. Wanna know what the worst part of it all was? After you left, I spent every goddamn day of my life wondering what I had done wrong to make you stop loving me. You never came back for me.” Billy looked at the boy with her, swallowing hard before looking at his mother again. “You don’t have to worry about me. You’ve already replaced me anyways. I’m not here to ruin what you’ve built. I mean, I’m happy you finally have someone that makes you happier than I ever could.” After casting Steve a glance, he left for the parking lot without another word.

Instead of going to his car, Billy walked down the front of the store before finding a place to sit with his back against the brick wall. With his head in his hands, he could feel himself starting to break. Despite the pain he was feeling, he was happy to know that his mom was okay. He didn’t wrong her for wanting freedom, but a part of him wished that her definition of freedom included a world with him in it.

He’d been left alone with someone that enjoyed cutting into Billy at every possible opportunity with physical and emotional abuse. Someone had saved his mother from it, but with a hopeless thought, Billy wondered why no one ever fully saved him. Max had been key to pulling Billy back from going too far, and he loved her dearly, but she wasn’t able to save him from Neil. Billy didn’t fault her for that, it wasn’t her responsibility, but he could always see the pain in her eyes whenever Neil tore into Billy over the years.

All Billy ever wanted was to be saved and be wanted by someone.

“Billy?” The sound of Steve’s voice had Billy tensing up. Billy kept his face hidden, not wanting Steve to see the wetness on his cheeks. Steve didn’t need to see him at his weakest.

“Go away.” mumbled Billy, a contradiction to just how desperately he wanted someone to be there for him.

Billy felt as Steve gently placed his hands on his shoulders. He stayed tense under his touch, feeling an urge to shove him away. When he raised his hands to push Steve away, he instead gripped at his shirt. Steve kept his movements slow as he carefully moved his arm around Billy’s shoulders. Billy started to pull away and Steve tightened his grip.

“I won’t ask you to talk about what’s happening, but I feel like you could really use this right now.” Steve said in a soft voice. “Just, please, don’t fight me.”

Billy shook his head, letting out a shaky, broken laugh that sounded more like a sob. He didn’t say anything though, pressing his forehead against Steve’s shoulder as he gave into letting Steve hold him. For once in his life, Billy felt like he was safe.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but when Steve started to pull away, Billy almost didn’t want to let go. “I just have to go back inside and pay for what we grabbed. Are you okay going to the car by yourself?”

Billy let out a soft snort as he rolled his eyes in disbelief, but Steve patiently waited for a response. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He said, adjusting how he was sitting so he could get his wallet out of his pants. He opened it and grabbed a couple twenties before holding it out to Steve. “For my half.”

Despite the look on Steve’s face that showed he was considering telling Billy to keep his money, he nodded and took it after a moment’s hesitation. “I’ll be fast. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

When Billy raised an eyebrow at him, Steve smiled. “I’m grabbing comfort food.”

“I don’t have a favorite ice cream flavor.”

“You absolutely do. Everyone has a favorite ice cream flavor.” Steve insisted as his smile grew.

Billy narrowed his eyes at him. “Rocky road.”

“Good choice. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” asked Steve as he pat Billy’s knee before standing.

“Fuck off, Steve.” Billy said without any malice, watching as Steve turned on his heel so he could rush back toward the store’s doors.

“I’ll be out in five!” Steve called back to him.

After getting out his pack of cigarettes, Billy put one between his lips and lit it before strolling back over to his car. While he walked, he looked around the parking lot to make sure that there wasn’t any sign of his mother or her son. The idea of having a little brother almost had Billy reeling. The kid even looked like he was about ten.

Once he’d reached his car, he leaned against it. The desire to smash his fists against it popped up, but Billy resisted it. An intrusive thought in his mind wanted to feel an ache in his hands from hitting something, just so he could feel something other than the medley of emotions swirling wildly in his abdomen. Instead of giving into the thoughts, he just quietly smoked his cigarette until he could hear the sound of a shopping cart approaching his car.

“I got a big bag of beef jerky if you want some.” Steve spoke up as Billy popped open his trunk with the key fob.

“I’m not hungry.” Billy replied as he helped Steve load the bags into the car before Steve pushed the cart back to the nearest cart corral. Once it was in, he strode back over to Billy’s car.

Once Billy’s car was unlocked, Steve got in with him. “I’ll make dinner tonight, you can go ahead and take it easy. While I was shopping, I got an idea for a game, since I just saw a big chunk of your personal stuff. Considering the whole goal of this trip was to get to know each other better, how about you ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer it? We can just ask each other things, and of course, you can always skip a question if it’s too much.”

“I can ask you anything?” Billy asked in disbelief. “Anything I want?”

“I mean, yeah. I said anything and I meant it.” Steve pointed out.

Billy pursed his lips to keep his cigarette in place so he could start his car. Once he was backed out of his space and started toward the road, he took a drag. As he took the cigarette out of his mouth, he thought of a question. “What did you mean when you said you practically raised yourself?”

Steve let out of a soft sigh and scratched at his head. “I meant exactly that. There’s big chunks of my life where my parents really didn’t have time for me. I’d have nannies growing up when my mom had a big acting gig, or my dad was on a business trip. Once I got old enough though, they stopped hiring people to watch me, so I just…” Steve shrugged, frowning a little. “I just spent a lot of time by myself.”

That was definitely unexpected. Billy glanced over at Steve before nodding. “Your turn.”

Steve looked over at him in surprise. “You want me to ask you something?”

“That’s the whole point of the game, right? Ask me whatever you want.”

“Okay. Uh, let me think.” Steve pursed his lips in thought. “Why did you audition for this movie?”

“Well, first of all, Joyce wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone about it.” huffed Billy in amusement. “Eventually, she made me read the script in her office and...I liked it. I wanted to be a part of this movie. Why? What made you audition?”

“I related a lot to my character too. It was kind of like seeing my life written on a page.”

Billy took his eyes off of the road to look over at Steve for a moment. As he looked forward again, he sighed. “That’s how it felt for me too.”

“Does…” Steve paused as he tried to think about how he could word it. “Does your dad abuse you?”

Billy tightened his grip on the steering wheel and for a moment, he was sure that he had forgotten how to breathe.

Steve grimaced. “Sorry, I know it's none of my business. I just overheard what you and your mom were talking about… Forget I asked, okay?”

Instead of answering Steve with words right away, Billy instead gave a nod as he tried to think of what he could say until he found his voice again. “Uh, not so much anymore now that I’ve moved out, but yeah. I don’t talk about it publicly because I don’t want everyone in my business. I keep my private life just that because I don’t need people knowing my story and feeling sorry for me, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get that completely. That’s why I got so pissed when you went off on me. It kind of reminded me that everyone sees me as this rich boy that’s never had any problems in his life. It reminded me that people still only see me for my last name.” Steve sighed. “No one really knows what my personal life is like.”

As they pulled back into the neighborhood, Billy let out a soft sigh. “You can tell me, if you want. I’m not gonna tell anyone.” He pulled into the driveway again before parking his car. Once his car was off, he looked at Steve.

Steve searched his expression, his eyes trailing over Billy’s lips for a moment before he looked him in the eyes again. “Does this mean we’re friends now?”

Billy stared back at him, licking his lips. Steve’s eyes followed the movement of his tongue. “No.” Billy replied, opening the car and getting out.

Steve groaned as he got out as well and when Billy saw the pout on his face, he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “But I wouldn’t leave you for dead on the side of the road, so there’s that.” He noted as he popped the trunk open. 

“Wait, you were going to leave me for dead?” Steve asked incredulously.

“I’ve considered it.” Billy shrugged, taking some of the bags out so Steve could get the rest. “Also, I don’t know about you, but after that shitshow at the store, I’m going to get baked.”

“Did you bring some?” Steve asked as he shut the trunk once he had everything.

“Silver tin in my bag. I’ll grab it once we get all this shit inside.”

Once they’d gotten everything in the house and the bags on the counter, Billy went to his borrowed room so he could unzip his bag and get the round silver tin out of the pocket. After he had it, he strolled back to the kitchen where Steve was putting away all of the cold groceries.

Billy gently tapped the tin against his palm as he watched Steve, realizing it was his turn again to ask a question. “Why were you at Vibe?”

Steve looked back at him for a moment before sticking the steaks in the fridge. “Robin asked me to go for moral support. I think she was also just trying to get me out of the house though.”

“Is that your kind of scene?” Billy asked, pulling out one of the stools at the counter so he could sit.

“Well, I mean, yeah. I am bi. Aren’t you?” Billy tensed as Steve looked back at him.

“What do you mean?” Billy asked in a stiff voice as he got defensive.

Steve raised his eyebrows a little. “Oh, well, I mean… I just kind of assumed you were something. You said you identify a lot with the character you’re gonna play, and uh, if I’m being honest… I heard you and Heather talking at the club.”

Billy dropped the tin on the countertop and rubbed at his face. It felt like as hard as he tried to keep his walls up and keep everyone at arm’s length, Steve kept finding the weak spots and pressing his way in. “I’m not bi.”

“Oh. Sorry for assuming, I mean, you don’t have to be LGBT to go to those clubs anyways.” Steve started to ramble, trying to backtrack.

Billy wasn’t quite listening to what he was saying. “Steve.” He spoke up to try and get him to stop either. He sighed deeply. “I’m not straight either.”

He could practically hear a record screeching to a halt in Steve’s head. Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times. _“Oh.”_ He finally spoke, staring at Billy as if he had grown two heads. When the initial surprise wore off, Steve smiled. “I’m gonna say there are many reasons why you don’t want your dad to know?”

Billy huffed out a laugh. “I’m pretty sure Neil would shoot me if he ever found out about me. Do your parents know about you?”

“My mom does.” Steve replied as he leaned against the counter.

“You have a good relationship with your mom?”

Steve tilted his head as he thought about it. “We’ve been getting better over the last few years. We were close when I was little, but her work kept her away a lot. Once I was older, I was used to it so I’d spend some time with her and talk to her about school and basketball, but it was mostly just small talk. I think it was when I was ready to start college that we started having a real relationship again.”

“What happened when you were starting college?” Billy asked, leaning forward and crossing his arms on the counter so he could lean against them.

Steve pursed his lips before smiling. “I’m pretty sure it’s my turn to ask a question.”

Billy frowned. “Fine, ask away.”

Steve stared at him for a long moment, trying to think of a question until he blurted out the first thing to come to mind. “What’s your type?” 

“My type?” Billy asked for clarification.

Steve grimaced. “You know, your type when it comes to guys.”

An amused expression appeared on Billy’s face as he opened his almost forgotten tin, taking a joint out and putting it between his lips. “Everyone is my type. I keep my options open.” He said, lighting the joint before taking a slow drag. “Why?”

“Don’t worry about it” Steve deflected before moving on. “You were asking about college right?”

“Mhmm.” Billy took one more hit before offering the joint to Steve.

Steve accepted it, putting it to his lips as he thought about how he wanted to answer Billy’s question. He sighed out the drag, watching as tendrils of smoke left his lips. “My dad wanted me to go to his school so I could follow in his footsteps and take over the ‘family business.’ I wanted to act. When I didn’t get into his school and told him the truth, that I’d gotten into the acting school of my dreams, he got pissed. We had a pretty bad yelling match that ended with him kicking me out of the house. He drained my bank account and told me if I wanted to do my own thing, then I could figure it out for myself.” A deep frown appeared on Steve’s face at the memory. 

“I spent months couch surfing, trying to figure out what my next move was before my mom finally found me. She and my dad had gotten in a huge fight when she got home from her job, and she’d given him an ultimatum: either he could get his head out of his ass and apologize to me, or she’d leave him and make sure he’d never hear from either of us again. My dad apologized to me, and things have been okay since then. It’s still kind of awkward sometimes, but…” He shrugged, “Mom and I talk more often than we used to, and we grew closer after everything. She always checks in and makes sure I’m taken care of.”

Billy stood up, looking around so he could check the cabinets.

“What are you looking for?” Steve asked in confusion.

When Billy found the liquor cabinet, he let out an ‘ah-ha!’ before looking over the labels on the bottles. “Murray must be a big fan of vodka.” He noted, ignoring the vodka bottles and going instead for the whiskey decanter. He grabbed a few glasses in the other hand, bringing them back to the counter so he could pour them both a drink. 

He nudged Steve’s glass closer to him before lifting his own. “To shitty childhoods?”

Steve snorted as he took the glass, clinking it against Billy’s. “To shitty childhoods.” He said before taking a swig.

Billy took a drink from his own glass before lowering it. “You wanna spend the rest of the day just getting drunk and smoking?”

The soft laughter that came out of Steve’s mouth was warm and almost pure. Billy took another swig of whiskey as he mentally noted how the smile on Steve’s face seemed to brighten the room. “I mean, that sounds like a solid plan to me.” 

Billy and Steve moved the tin of joints, the decanter of whiskey, and a bunch of the snacks that they’d purchased to the living room so they could sit and keep talking while they gradually got more inebriated.

“So, why did you keep trying to help me today?” Billy asked, putting his feet on the coffee table.

“Even though you were a major dick yesterday?” Billy gave Steve a pointed look at his unhelpful addition but nodded. “Well, when I was a kid, there was this feral cat rummaging through the garbage at my house. It was looking for food or something. When I saw it, I decided that I was going to pet it.”

Billy found himself smirking at that. “It totally bit you.”

“Yep. It totally bit me.” Steve nodded. “Even though it bit me, I kept trying to befriend it. I’d put out tuna for it, water, anything I could think of to try and get him to warm up to me. My nanny at the time told me that the cat was a lost cause when she’d keep having to bandage up my hands from all the scratches and bites. She’d said something about how he’d been beaten too many times and thrown out that he didn’t understand what it was like to have a warm, kind touch. I was determined to prove her wrong and teach the cat what it felt like to be loved again.”

Billy searched Steve’s expression. Steve had a dreamy, wistful expression on his face as he reminisced. “What happened to the cat?”

“He warmed up to me eventually and I had him for about…” Steve paused to think, “twelve years before he finally passed away last year. That angry, scared cat that only had ever had a horrible life up until that point became the sweetest, most affectionate companion. All it took was for someone to finally take care of him and show that he was worth having around. That expression you got in the club, and in the car, it was just like that cat. I knew that there was a risk of being bitten or scratched, but I’d just have to be patient and you’d warm up to me. I was right. I mean, look at us now, we’re friends!”

With a deep sigh, Billy reached for the whiskey decanter, shaking his head. “We’re not friends.” He said, forgoing using a glass and instead putting the bottle to his lips.

“We’re friends.” reiterated Steve.

“Mmmm...No.” Billy replied after a few nice gulps. He was too sober for this.

“We’ve been spending the entire day sharing our deep, dark personal shit with each other. How is that not something that friends do?” When Steve noticed the sly smile on Billy’s face, he groaned. “You’re still a dick.”

“Yeah, I am but I think you’ll find a way to get over it.” Billy was still smirking as he put the decanter back to his lips.

The two of them spent the rest of the day drinking and talking with movies playing on the TV as background noise until the sun had long set. When Billy finally rose to his feet so he could go to bed, his knees nearly buckled. Steve let out a hysterical giggle as he watched Billy wobble.

“You’re so drunk.” Steve slurred as he watched Billy in amusement.

“Fuck off, Steve. You’re drunk too.” Billy shot back as he gave him the middle finger for good measure. “You want help up or not?”

Steve seemed to weigh the pros and cons of moving before he shrugged. “Okay, yeah. Help would be nice.” When Billy offered him his hand, he accepted it and stood with a groan.

“Okay, yeah, moving is bad. I’m gonna go to my room and crash.”

Billy nodded in agreement, letting go of his hand so he could walk around the couch and toward the hallway. “Goodnight, Steve.” He called as he entered his bedroom. 

After kicking his door shut with his foot, he stripped out of his clothes and down to his underwear. Billy pulled his hair up into a messy, half-assed bun to keep it from getting in his face before he swayed over to his bed and dropped face down onto it. When he hit the mattress, vertigo made his senses violently spin and his stomach rumbled uncomfortably at the feeling of the mattress’ unsteadiness. Bile begged to rise at the back of his throat as the bed rocked him up and down like a wave. With a groan of disbelief, Billy realized that he’d picked the room with a water bed.

When the bed finally stopped swaying, Billy forced himself off of it and back to his feet. He walked over his pile of clothes on the floor, almost getting tangled in his jeans when he shuffled through them. Thankfully, he was able to keep himself upright as he exited his bedroom and went straight to Steve’s. When he pushed the door open, he could see that Steve was already in bed.

Billy left the door open as he stumbled into the room, going straight to Steve’s bed and plopping down beside him, pushing at Steve when their shoulders touched. “Move.” Billy groaned, trying to get some more space.

Steve let out a high whine, pushing back at Billy. “Go sleep in your own room.”

“No, that room’s a nightmare.” Billy mumbled back, closing his eyes as he rested his hand on Steve’s back, feeling the warm of Steve’s skin beneath his palm.

“There are other bedrooms.” Steve pointed out but he at least stopped pushing at Billy after Billy relaxed.

Billy gave a half-assed shrug. “I want to be here.”

Steve let out a soft little giggle at that. “Friends.”

A groan of exasperation left Billy’s lips as he peeked an eye open so he could look at Steve. “You’re the worst.”

Unexpected warmth coursed through Billy at the sight of the smile Steve gave him. Dimly illuminated by the light in the hallway, genuine happiness filled Steve’s expression. It felt like the more time Billy spent with Steve, the more Steve broke down his walls. Each time he’d try to build them back up, they’d crumble at Steve’s words and his touch. Billy wasn’t sure if it scared him or not. With all of the alcohol and weed in his system, the idea of letting someone new in didn’t seem so bad.

“It’s okay, I like you too.” Steve groggily chirped before yawning. Billy realized he was already half-asleep.

The hand on Steve’s back raised to instead gently cupped his cheek as Steve closed his eyes. When Steve let out a soft hum of content at his touch, Billy pulled his hand away and turned away until his back was facing Steve. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Billy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll have updates posted consistently since Finals Week in school is extremely calm. If you ever want to talk headcanons pr anything about these boys, you can find me as Melodramasalad on twitter and I'm probably going to start being active on tumblr under MelodramaticSalad!


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